A Therapist’s Journey through Addiction, Recovery and Transformational Change — In my former career, I often said “I tell selective truths for a living.” How cute and clever. In reality, I worked in public relations. You could say I talked for a living. People said I had a silver tongue and could persuade any skeptic. My view is that I’d…

Desire springs to life — Out of nowhere — A single gleam Of your iris Arrests my attention. Focus flows Obedient to a Draw magnetic. Sparks electric Erupt Upon first touch. Senses caught unprepared To slow a racing wildfire, Windswept and Feeding on a Tinderbox of thought. Somehow keeping pace, my Heart’s in full stride. …

Meaningful Returns Require Sacrifice — When we crave the cash and prizes of life, short-cuts can sound seductive. Who wouldn’t want to cheat the system, sidestep the struggle and fast-forward to the finish line? I know I have. We want the gains without the grunt work. The awards without the adversity. The estate without the…

Opponent process theory and the self-regulating brain — If you drink alcohol, you know it helps you relax. Alcohol is trusty in that way: you know that if you have a drink(s), your nerves will calm, tightness in your body will loosen, inhibitions will drop, your negative mood will elevate and anxiety will dissipate. This is the reason…

From the Alcoholics and Addicts of the World — Being in a relationship with an addict is not easy. Truth be told, we can barely stand ourselves most of the time. Your concern is duly noted and appreciated. …

The “parts” you dislike need care and feeding (IFS) — Can you name your parts? Is part of you a micromanager? Perhaps a perfectionist? Maybe misanthropic killjoy? What about your omniscient fortune teller? Sadistic self-critic? Selfless caregiver? Your wounded and insecure inner child? We all have parts of ourselves that we judge, critique and exile. …

The path out of addiction can carry unimaginable beauty — Today, I sit in silent awe. I rest still in the wonder of human capacity for growth and change. This week I have witnessed phoenixes rising triumphantly out of the destruction of addiction, defiantly shaking off the heavy debris of shame and self-loathing that weighed them down for a lifetime. …

Choose Self-Expanding Emotions — Everyone lives in their own reality. You and I could be standing in the same spot, looking at the exact same thing and still perceive completely alternate realities. Each of our perceptions is anchored by what is going on inside us in that moment, the experiences that we’ve had, the…

For the harsh self-critics — We all have one. We keep it tucked away out of sight — ready to pull out during moments of insecurity, perceived weakness and even in the spotlight of success. It’s an invisible and often harsh ruler against which we judge ourselves. As we travel through life, absorb social norms…