When an abusive tyrant singles you out, it’s easy to feel like you have a target on your back. It’s actually hard not to take it personally when the pattern of insults feels like a premeditated character assassination.
You might ask yourself: What did I do to deserve this treatment? Why me?
The reality is that bullies don’t treat everyone the same. They might treat others around you with respect and civility. This can be problematic, as it can have a gaslighting effect. When you seek support and confide in others, instead of empathetic, they might be incredulous.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. He treats me just fine.”
Gaslighting is debilitating because you begin to question your own judgement and perception of reality. This is how manipulative people take over the minds of others.
When these thoughts take root, it can be extraordinarily destructive. You can begin to question yourself, your behavior, your performance. You might wonder: Maybe he’s right? Maybe I do deserve this. Maybe, as he says, he is “doing me a favor” by taking the time to point out my flaws.
And like a virus infecting a host organism, this thought process can begin to erode…
